Fear, sadness, anger are passed from one generation to the next. Thanks to a method devised by a psychogenealogy specialist for Psychologies, make an inventory of these emotions "borrowed" from your family past and dislodge yourself from those that do not belong to you.Flavia Mazelin Salvi
Every family has a history, values, and beliefs that influence the way they behave. "The emotional legacy is very early in the newborn, because, lack of access to language, it is the feeling that comes first, explains Marie-Genevieve Thomas.It appropriates the emotions felt, will easily carry the sadness, anger or fear of his parents. the infant child already knows the unconscious of his father and mother. " For the therapist, "feeling regularly overwhelmed or blocked by persistent emotions is a sign that they may be transgenerational, that is, belonging to another member of the family". Becoming aware of it is already a great step towards the liberation and reappropriation of those which are ours. To unravel the roots of our emotions, Marie-Geneviève Thomas has devised a method inspired by the genosociogram, a genealogical tree established from memory over several generations, materializing significant events and emotional ties of the family. This method allows us to rewrite our emotional grammar.
1. Build your genosociogram
Fill in the boxes of your family tree (Download by clicking here)
In a notebook, write down what you know about places, country of origin, removals, removals, separations and deaths as well as all the milestones related to each person. To complete your search, you can ask your parents, your siblings and your extended family. Pay attention to how this information will be delivered to you (tone of voice, emotions manifested, qualifiers used, silences ...) and take note of all.
Identify points of vulnerability by identifying painful events (miscarriage, abortion, depression, psychiatric illness, accidents, disabilities, incest, rape, suicide ...). Also try to "search" difficult historical periods, such as wars.
Pay attention to positive events (births, social promotions, happy and long-term relationships, etc.), as well as how they were lived and how they affected family members.Also identify links and structuring, stabilizing places. Once these observations have been gathered together and "thoughts", you will see the main chapters of your family romance emerge and appear the lines of fracture and strength. You will also be able to understand how all events conditioned the behavior and choices of each other, up to you.
2. Be aware of the emotional types of your family
Empirically, psychogenealogy has highlighted links between certain emotions and certain family events, which are repeated or whose effects are transmitted from generation to generation. This is what shapes family typologies: families of angry, anxious, depressed, dissatisfied, victims ...
The sadness is very often the result of unfinished bereavements or painful separations lived in childhood.
Fear results from traumatic "historical" episodes (war, immigration, deportation) and serious "private" events (series of deaths by accident or illness).
Anger can be linked to phenomena of injustice (social or intrafamilial) and to ill-treatment (physical or psychological abuse, such as negligence, contempt, lack of recognition, hyperexigence ...) .
Shame follows acts condemned by the morality of the family (child born under X, adultery, debauchery, social misalliance), by the law (all criminal acts) or by history (collaboration) .
Guilt arises from the feeling of being the cause of an unwanted, unhappy or dramatic event (a marriage triggered by a pregnancy, a death after a breakup, a good intention that goes wrong ...).