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I would like to be a good person

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I would like to be a good person

I can not be serious and it bothers me. I should be so because I'm a student lawyer but I go out a lot and I abuse different products ... I do not pay my HP, I'm very spendthrift, I never read again to check that there is no of fault, I tell myself all the time "it goes or it breaks", etc ... Strangely I managed my studies so far, I have an apartment, friends, a boyfriend but I'm not proud of me . I would like to be a good person, reliable. Can you help me? Lyreb, 24 years old

Christophe André

Psychiatrist and psychotherapist

answers

What you describe is what psychiatrists call "impulse control disorders" (difficulty to resist his desires, like buying or using drugs) and also attention disorders (having trouble staying focused on a task until the end). These two problems are often associated, as they are also associated with a general tendency to search for thrills.

It is still unclear what are the origins of these psychic difficulties: there is probably an innate temperament part (with a tendency to react quickly and strongly to stimuli of the environment) and a more personal part (not not having been helped in his education to control and delay his desires and impulses).

In your case, there are also obviously a lot of things that work well, which allowed you to succeed in studies, a sentimental and friendly life. But the pain of seeing yourself yield to certain behaviors is worrying you. Rightly in my opinion, because we live in a society - overpopulated, complex, obsessed with rules and order - that requires a lot of self-regulation abilities from its members (which is not always this was the case, some times tolerated impulsive behavior better).

In your place, I would be assisted by a psychotherapist, able to help you see where these difficulties come from (your parents were they?) And how to domesticate them gradually.

But in any case, this is not a problem of "lack of seriousness": what makes you suffer is a psychological difficulty, not a moral failure.

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