[EXERCISE] Not only does ridicule not kill, but it can even help us get rid of the weight of the norm and comparisons. Ilios Kotsou, researcher in positive psychology, offers a simple and effective exercise to get rid of the fear of the judgment of others.
Ilios Kotsou Flavia Mazelin Salvi
Standard and comparisons are positive when they inspire us or push us to improve. But they can also be toxic and impair our self-esteem when we base them on information and photos conveyed by the press or social networks. In this case, we forget that we only have access to a life staged, partial. Scientific studies 1 have shown that the more we tend to compare ourselves, the less well we are doing.
One of the best ways to break free from the weight of comparison is to confront it in consciousness. The Greek philosophers of antiquity offered their students to walk around the public square with a dead fish at the end of a leash, to make fun of the mockery and detach themselves from the eyes of others. The idea is to make you ridiculous - in a situation without risk and risk - to free you from fear of the judgment of others. Examples: stand under a street sign and ask passers-by for its name ... If you are uncomfortable in your body, go to a party and put yourself ahead on the dance floor while dancing as ridiculously as possible . If you're worried about not being smart, make a not-so-good replica and live what's going on inside ... Stay tuned to everything you feel.
Stéphanie, 45, webdesigner
"I've been paralyzed for a long time by the eyes of others, and if you look at me, it's necessarily for a bad reason. this exercise when I met Laurent, I was sure that he would find me unkind anyway.On our first outing to an Italian restaurant, I asked for a Thai dish.In conversation, I multiplied The absurd remarks To my astonishment, not only did I not get a scornful remark, but it made me laugh.This experience freed me.I discovered that what we imagine is always worse Reality Since then, from time to time, I do a little cure. "
1." Who compares and despairs? ", Personality and Individual Differences, No. 86, 2015.